


Waiting For You To See Me

by kitkat2099



Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: College AU, GDYB Bromance, Light Angst, M/M, Physical Abuse, Possible smut, Romance, Verbal Abuse, maybe some nyongtory, possible date rape, sundae
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-29
Updated: 2017-03-15
Packaged: 2018-08-11 18:31:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 3,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7903210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitkat2099/pseuds/kitkat2099
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Youngbae is in love with Daesung. How could he not be, he is sweet, adorable and has the biggest angel's smile.  But Daesung is with Seunghyun.  The one who makes him cry.  Will Daesung ever see in Youngbae what Youngbae sees in him?  Can Youngbae help him to see he deserves to be treated better, that he would treat him better?</p><p> </p><p>Cross posted on AFF</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Foreword

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter was written as a foreword on AFF, don't really know how to do that here.

                Youngbae glanced at the slip of paper in his hand, matching the numbers on it with the numbers on the door before reaching out to turn the knob and enter.  It was his senior year of college and he and Jiyong, his best friend, were finally able to room together.  He entered the room, dragging his bags behind him.

                “Hyung!  Let me help you with that.” 

                Startled, Youngbae looked up from dragging his bags into the room.  “Wha… what are you doing here Daesung-ah?”  Youngbae quickly checked his paperwork again against the number on the door.  “I thought Jiyong and I were rooming this semester?”

                “Ah yes, I guess he hasn’t messaged you yet, Youngbae hyung.   Mianhe.  Jiyong hyung asked me to switch with him.  He liked the view from my room better, he said.”  Seeing the distressed look on Youngbae’s face had him worried.  “I can ask him to switch back if you want, it’s just across the hall.”

                “No Daesung-ah.  It’s ok.”  Youngbae smiled trying to soothe him.  “I don’t mind.  I was just caught off guard is all.”

                “Ok,” said Daesung happily, beaming a huge eyesmile at Youngbae as he turned back to finish his unpacking.  “This year will be fun, right Hyung?”

                Just then Bae’s phone chimed an incoming message.

_From Jiyong:  You can thank me later *wink, wink*_

                “Yup, lots of fun.”


	2. Prologue- Waiting

_**I sit and wait, not knowing what to do.** _

_**He loves you, I love you.** _

_**And you? You love him.** _

_**All I can do is watch.** _

_**I can be your friend.** _

_**I can hold you when he makes you cry, again.** _

_**But it hurts.** _

_**Because that is all I can do, until the day you see me the way I see you.** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be longer and actually begin the story. Promise. I wanted to get this stuff posted while it was fresh in my head.


	3. Help Me

_Youngbae laid on the sand and felt the sun warm his skin.  The sand was hot and the heat was beginning to feel uncomfortable, there was even sand all through his hair.  He didn’t care though because next to him, hand clasped firmly in his own was Daesung.  He turned his head to look at him and returned the eyesmile the Dae beamed at him.  He saw Dae’s mouth, he was speaking, but Bae couldn’t hear what he was saying.  An awful noise was filling the air, drowning out his voice.  He shook his head and tried again to listen or to at least be able to read his lips, but the noise just kept getting louder.  Blaring and annoying, pulling him away from Daesung, away from his happy place._

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

                Youngbae groaned as he lay on his bed and ignored his alarm, flinging an arm over his eyes in an attempt to block out the light.  He knew he should get up.  He knew he should turn off the alarm before it woke his still sleeping roommate.  But getting up would mean that the dream he just had was just that, a dream.   He quickly reached out his arm and hit the snooze, buying himself a few minutes more to close his eyes and try to recapture at least some the dream of it before it slipped away.

                Luck was not on his side though.  No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t bring back the pleasant feeling of his dream, the one where Daesung smiled his angel smile just for him, only for him, not that jackass that didn’t deserve him.  Bae huffed, giving up on getting anymore sleep.  He sat up and switched off his alarm before it could go off again and wake up Daesung.  Looking over at his roommate, asleep on his bed a few feet away, Youngbae couldn’t help but grimace.  There was bruising around Dae’s cheek bone, and probably more that couldn’t be seen since he was covered to his chin with his blanket.

                Shaking his head as he got up, Youngbae headed over to Daesung’s side of the room and sat on the edge of his bed, to get a better look.  The movement caused Dae to stir and wake, blinking as he sat up and took in Bae’s face inches from his own.  Concern and worry etched into his features.

                “Why didn’t you wake me when you came in Daesung-ah?  Did Seunghyun do this to you?  We should have put some ice on this last night,” He questioned his dongsaeng, gently touching the purplish skin to better assess the damage.  The slight touch caused the younger to hiss and draw back, even the lightest touch still stinging.

                “It’ll be okay, Hyung.  You don’t always have to take care of me,” muttered Dae, as he hung his head in embarrassment, trying to hide behind his hair.

                “Someone has to Dae-ya.  The one who should be isn’t, so that leaves me,” replied Youngbae as he looked over the younger for signs of any other damage.  He didn’t notice the arm that the other was hiding behind himself.  Deciding that Daesung did not require serious medical attention, Bae got up from the bed having decided to get some ice from the kitchen area to put on Dae’s face before borrowing some makeup from his best friend, Jiyong, to cover the bruising. 

                “I’ll be right back.  Why don’t you get dressed and we’ll see what we can do about that, okay?”  Bae said as he slid on his slippers and headed for the door.

                                                                                                          ~~~~~~~~~~

                “There!”  Declared Jiyong proudly, turning Daesung around to face Youngbae.  “He looks good as new, can barely see it now.”  Daesung thanked him blushing furiously and moved to get up from Ji’s desk chair. Jiyong grabbed his wrist as he made to leave, looking him up and down.  “Aren’t you hot in this long-sleeved shirt Dae-ya?  It’s still so humid outside.”

                “I’m okay Jiyong- hyung, really.  I was cold with the AC on in the dorm today,” Daesung replied, trying to pull his arm from the other’s surprisingly strong grasp.

                “Well you should at least push your sleeves up, so you don’t…“ Ji stopped speaking mid fuss, shocked at what he saw when he pushed Daesung’s sleeve up his arm.  “Daesung-ah, what…” he began, but Daesung pulled his arm away, wincing as he pulled down his sleeve.

                “I… I’m not hot Jiyong hyung, please.  I… I need to go.  I’m supposed to meet my study group.”  Dae stammered as he quickly got up from the chair, pushing past Jiyong and Youngbae in order to both escape their scrutiny and the room.  He wasn’t ready for this much confrontation right now, he just wanted to be alone and wallow in the misery that was his pathetic life.

                Once in the relative safety and privacy of his room Daesung slumped down on the floor.  Leaning his head back against the open doorframe of his closet, he let the tears he was holding back finally fall.  “Why does this have to be my life?” He asked the empty room.  “What am I supposed to do?”  When he didn’t receive an answer he just continued to sit there.  Continued to allow the tears to fall.  Continued to wonder how he got stuck with a man who claimed to love him, claimed to need him, but yet did nothing but hurt him.  At first it was only emotionally, and verbally, little jabs here and there.  How he was lucky to be with someone as good looking as he was.  That he should be happy that Seunghyun was with him despite his round face, his small eyes, his crooked teeth, and his big nose.  But now it had escalated to physical pain as well. Slapping him across the cheek bone or shoving him into a wall, or burning him with a lit cigarette if he was really angry.  It’s not like it would happen every day, and Seunghyun always felt badly afterwards, when he was no longer drunk, no longer enraged.  He would be extra sweet, and always apologized profusely. The week or two following that would be perfectly normal.  Daesung wasn’t sure if that meant Seunghyun really did love him, or if he was just a fool to forgive him every time.  Right now he was leaning heavily towards the fool notion. 

                Daesung was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn’t realize he was no longer alone in his room.   He didn’t hear or see Youngbae enter their room and watch him, concern and worry for his friend etched on his features. A hand on his knee startled him out of his revere.  “Dae?”

                                                                                                  ~~~~~~~~~

                “Holy shit, Bae-ya!” yelled Jiyong.  “Did you see what that jackass did to him?”  He began pacing the open floor in his room, trembling with his rage.  He looked at Youngbae whose eyes were wide with shock looking at him.  “Did you get a look at his arm?”

                “I didn’t get a good look, Ji, he pulled his sleeve down to fast.  I’m guessing it’s bad though,” replied Youngbae.  “I don’t know how I missed that. I looked him over before I brought him here.”  Bae slumped down on the bed, feeling miserable.  He couldn’t help but wonder how much more he had missed.  Just how much had Daesung been hiding from them, from him?  It saddened him to think that Daesung didn’t feel that he could come to him.

                “He must have hidden it from you.  Come to think of it, when’s the last time you saw Daesung without a shirt on?”  Jiyong wondered aloud.  “I think you should go check on him Youngbae-ah.  I doubt he went to go study, he’s probably in your guys’ room,” Ji stated, gesturing towards the room across the hall.

                “I’ll go see if Daesung is okay, Ji.  Why don’t you find Seungri?  It might take more than just the two of us to convince him to get help,” Youngbae replied, getting up from the bed he was seated on and hurrying to head across the hall, worried for his roommate.

                Entering his room, Bae looked around to find Daesung on the floor.  Tears were streaming down his face.  The sight enough to make his heart hurt.  He made his way across the floor as quietly as possible, so that he didn’t startle Dae.  Crouching down in front of him, Youngbae reached out his hand, placing it on the younger’s knee to get his attention.  “Dae?”

                Daesung snapped his head up from the wall, startled.  “I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to surprise you Dae-ya,” whispered Bae, worried that talking louder might cause Dae to run again.  “Are you okay?  Why didn’t you tell me about your arm?” he continued quietly once he saw recognition register on Daesung’s face.

                Dae looked at him, tears still flowing. “I… I don’t know.”  He stuttered as a reply, shaking his head. Daesung mustered up his courage to continue before Youngbae could say more.  “Please, I think I need help.  Can you do that?  Can you help me please?  I don’t know what to do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't like writing weak helpless Daesung, but for now that's what needs to happen for this story. What I wanted to write, and the direction this story is taking itself seem to be 2 different things. This story and it's characters seem to have a mind of their own. So let's just see where it takes us, cuz it's already totally off from the outline I wrote up...lol. Please let me know what you think.


	4. See Me

_**If only you would look at me** _

_**The same way you look at him** _

_**I would never bring such pain to your eyes** _

_**The pain you have when you’re with him** _

_**The pain that I have to right again, because he never does** _

_**I’d only ever let happiness rain down, not your tears** _

_**Please just look at me** _

_**See me** _


	5. Maybe

**_My heart is hurting  
_ **

**_My tears are falling  
_ **

**_I thought what I had was all I deserved_ **

**_Then I met you, you shine so brightly_ **

**_My day is always better when you’re around_ **

**_Teaching me to love myself_ **

**_That I deserve better, more than the pain he gives me_ **

**_So that maybe I can see someone besides him_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry guys, I sat down to start the next chapter and this came out instead. Now that I have the emo out of my system ( I hate seeing Dae hurt) Maybe I can get started on the next chapter. I know many of you want to see Bae deck Seunghyun, but it's not gonna happen yet. It will take alot to rile up Bae that much. Maybe Ji will give him what for though *sigh* It's hard to tell, These silly heads are trying their best to write themselves.


	6. Finding Help

                Seeing his crush, in tears before him, begging him for help was almost enough to make Youngbae want to start crying himself.   He knew he couldn’t though.  Right now he had to hold it together and be strong, because that’s what Daesung needed right now. 

                “I need you to show me your arm Daesung-ah,” Bae commanded of the younger.  “I need to see just what we are dealing with, okay?”  He continued, holding out his hand for Daesung’s arm.  When Dae complied and placed his hand in his, Youngbae carefully lifted the sleeve.  He was shocked with what he found. Quite frankly, it almost made him sick to his stomach.  Almost the entire lower forearm, just above the wrist was covered in a huge purple bruise, and above that was a huge burn.  Actually it appeared to be several smaller burns, in the shape of an English letter T.

                Youngbae was appalled.  He looked up at Daesung after examining his arm.  Dae had his face turned away, trying to not look him in the eye, tears still sliding down his face.  Reaching out, Bae placed his hand on Dae’s cheek, brushing away tears with his thumb as he turned Daesung’s face to him.  “How did this happen Daesung-ah?  What could you possibly have done to deserve something like this?” 

                Daesung hung his head, bangs hiding his eyes.  How was he supposed to tell his friend and roommate that this was done because of him?  That Seunghyun had accused them of being more than roommates.  Daesung didn’t know how to tell him that, because honestly he was certain that if Youngbae knew he would surely abandon him.  The last thing he wanted was to lose him as a friend.

                Taking a deep breath Daesung started talking, trying to find a way to explain.  “I told him last night that maybe we should start seeing other people.  He was furious, accused me of cheating on him.  Later on he found me, he had been drinking.  He threw me into the wall face first, then held me down and did this with a cigarette.” Daesung gestured to the burns on his arm.  “He said he was going to mark me as his so that no one else could have me.  I… I guess the bruise is from me trying to get away.  Youngbae it hurt so much, it still does.  But I was scared, and ashamed, that’s why I didn’t show you.  I didn’t want you to see what I had let him do to me.”  Daesung poured out all he was holding in.  “I’m so sorry for lying to you? Can you forgive me?”

                There is nothing to forgive, Daesung-ah,” Bae said as he pulled Dae into a hug.

                “Who was he trying to keep from having you Daesung-hyung?”  Seungri butted in to ask.  The roommates both looked towards the open door to their room. Nether had noticed Jiyong or their panda eyed maknae enter the room.

                Jiyong elbowed him in the ribs. “Shh, that’s not what’s important right now.”  Turning back to Daesung, Jiyong fixed his gazed on him.  “What is important Dae-ya, is that we get that arm treated.”

                A look of fear crossed Daesung’s face.  “Please don’t make me.  If we go to the clinic they will make me file a report.  I… I just want to put this behind me.”  He tried not to panic, but reporting anything to the authorities would only make Seunghyun angry again, especially since he would likely not even remember what he did.

                Jiyong and Seungri moved into the room to sit on one of the beds as Youngbae spoke.  “Daesung-ah I wish you would let us take you, this really should be reported.  Look what was done to you.  This needs to be put to a stop.  Before something worse happens.”

                “I agree, Daesung hyung,” chimed in the maknae.  “Though if we can’t convince you to report this, we should treat it the best we can here.”

                “You need to break up with him for good, Daesung-ah,” the look on Jiyong’s face broking no argument.  The other’s all nodded in agreement.  Before he could protest, Ji continued, “We will all go with you.  I don’t think, and I’m certain everyone in this room agrees with me, that you should be alone around Seunghyun.

                “Seungri and I will go and get some first aid supplies, Bae-ya.  We’ll be back soon.”  Jiyong got up and headed for the door dragging Seungri along behind him. “I swear the stuff I do.  It’s going to give me grey hair.”

                Youngbae laughed at his best friend’s complaints and was happy to see that even Daesung was smiling a little bit.  Turning his attention back to Daesung’s wound, his face turned to a look of concern.  “Well let’s start with getting you up off the floor, eh?”  Bae stated.  “Come sit in your chair, it will be easier to clean this up over there, than down here on the floor.”

                After helping the younger up and into a seat, Youngbae sat in his own chair and wheeled it over so that he was facing Dae.  He wanted nothing more than to bury himself in Dae’s arms and tell him that he didn’t need to be afraid or scared anymore. That he would protect him from now on, but he was fairly certain that Daesung wouldn’t be receptive to that kind of display.  Opting to remain more level headed and calm, at least in appearance, Youngbae reached out and held Daesung’s hand from his uninjured arm.  “Please don’t hide anything like this from us anymore, okay Daesung-ah?  I can’t help you, we can’t help you, if you don’t tell us what’s going on.”

                “Who’s we?” 

                Seunghyun’s voice from the doorway caused Daesung to visibly flinch.  Youngbae tightened his grip a bit on Dae’s hand to reassure him, and to remind him that he wasn’t alone. 

                 “I said who’s we, Daesung-ah?” Seunghyun repeated as he took a step through the still open doorway.  “I came here to apologize, I even brought you these,” he said, gesturing to the flowers he was holding in one hand.  “Instead I find you like this, holding hands with HIM?”  Seunghyun was now waving the flowers at Youngbae as Daesung hung his head trying to find the words to stand up for himself.  Seunghyun tried to take another step into the room but a sharp tug on his shirt prevented any more forward motion.  Seunghyun whirled around to see who was trying to stop him.

                “Sunbae, I think you will find yourself unwelcome in this room,” declared Jiyong as he relinquished his grip on the other’s shirt.  “Why don’t you just leave, while we clean up after your mess?”  His tone was amazingly calm given just how angry he was at the moment.  Looking across the room at the pair on the other side, Jiyong quirked his eyebrow and smirked as he watched his best friend rise from his seat to stand protectively in front of Daesung.  He could also hear Seungri, huffing behind him furiously.

                Confusion broke out across Seunghyun’s features as he turned to try and speak to Daesung again.    “Daesung-ah, what is going on?  I am sorry for pushing you into the wall.  It won’t happen again, I promise you.”  He tried to see around the wall of Youngbae to get a better look at his boyfriend, as he wondered how someone so small could take up so much space.  It was then that he noticed the evidence of tears drying on the other’s face.

                “Why have you been crying?  It’s just a black eye, it will get better soon,” Seunghyun didn’t quite understand what all the fuss was about.  It’s not like this was the first time, though he suspected that these friends of Daesung’s didn’t really know as much as they should, or they would have been putting up this much fuss months ago.  Either way, he decided, it didn’t matter.  His boyfriend would come crawling back to him soon enough.

                “Just a black eye!”  Everyone was surprised to hear Daesung yell, he never raised his voice.  Getting up from his seat and stepping around his roommate, Dae stepped closer to Seunghyun.  “Do you not remember what you did to me last night?”  Daesung was furious.  How could he forget doing something that he himself would never be able to forget, something that would scar him for the rest of his life?  He stretched out his injured arm, shoving it closer to Seunghyun.  “I remember, Seunghyun hyung.  How can I forget?  You did this to me, laughed at me as I begged you to stop, and now you don’t even remember?

                “I… I can’t do this anymore.  Please, just leave and don’t ever come back.  I have more scars from you than I can handle, I’ve hidden too much from the people who really care about me.”  Exhausted from his outburst, Daesung dropped back down into his chair, ignoring the surprised looks on everyone’s faces.  “Please, Hyung.  Just leave, I don’t want to be with you anymore.”

                Seunghyun stared in shock at the damage he had done.  How could he have done that again, even worse than the other times?  What was wrong with him?  A poke to his shoulder though brought him back from his thoughts.

                “You need to just get the fuck out, did you not hear him?”  Jiyong stated through gritted teeth.  “You are not wanted here.”  Jiyong sighed as he leaned on the door frame, watching his older classmate, drop the flowers he brought with him on the ground and leave the room in a daze.  He watched his panda eyed maknae take the first aid supplies to Youngbae.  Watched as his best friend took care of the young man he was hopelessly in love with.

                That man was the one he was most proud of.  Daesung had taken a huge step today, asking for help and standing up for himself.  Leaving that loser that did nothing but hurt him.  Having Youngbae near helped their Daesungie to be stronger.  Now they just needed to help Dae heal.  Help him to see that the person in front of him, fussing over his wounds would never let him down, nor hurt him the way that other asshole did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know if you see any editing mistakes, I am tired and have probably missed a bunch. Hope you guys like this chapter.


	7. Mine

_**How dare he touch you** _

_**Hold your hand** _

_**Why do you let him?** _

_**You are mine** _

_**I won’t let him have you** _

_**I know you didn’t mean it** _

_**We will be together again soon** _


	8. Enough

**_I’ve had enough, I can’t take the pain_ **

**_I want to be happy_ **

**_Which means leaving you._ **

**_I am not sure if I can be that brave,_ **

**_But I have to try._ **

**_Someone else is looking at me,_ **

**_Someone who doesn’t hurt me._ **

**_Someone who fixes the pain you give me._ **

**_Please, just let me go._ **


End file.
